And I think again...

What's the point? Yes, here we go again. I'm frustrated. Again. I can't help it. May be I'm just being very impatient, but when things are the way they are right now, I'm pretty much fed up with the whole thing. It just seems like I'm putting every ounce of my effort into trying to achieve what I planned on, but with no results. Nothing. I have worked this hard, and haven't achieved a thing. And that pisses me off. You know, when I was a kid, I thought if I worked hard enough at something, I would be able to achieve it. But then as I'm getting older, those things are getting more rare to find. Instead, things that I can't achieve even when I tried hard, those things are becoming more common. And I'm tired of it. What's the point?, that's how I feel . I don't even feel like I'm living my life. I'm still wasting my life away for the "better future". There's just no excitement. And when there is time for anything exciting to happen, I'm so f-ing tired to go for it. I want to do nothing and just rest, then end up complaining about how boring my life has become. What was I expecting? Is this going to be my life forever? Graduating, working, tired the whole time, trapped in a fixed cycle? I don't want that! But then I don't know what else is there. Sitting here staring at the screen makes me sigh. It's tough. I hate this frustration. I wish I can live my life as it comes, not having to think or worry about anything. But that can go only far. That ensures only little. Hell, I tried this hard and nothing happened, so I guess there's no point in even trying for anything anyways. May be I should let things happen, instead of trying to make everything work out. Ha, who am I kidding. And blame it on bad luck? I'll be the sourse of the blame, for not doing anything about it! Whatever. If I make it, I make it. If I don't, then I don't. Do I even care anymore? Man, where is my "mentor" when I need it? Where is anybody when I need them? I'm not giving up, I can't give up. This obsession might be the reason why I'm so freakin frustrated!
And what's up with the whole censorship thing? The other way I was reading an interview article on Times Magazine where the author censored all the curse words like "F___ " or "Sh___". I mean come on! I'm sure people who read Times Magazine know what those words are even if they are "censored". Who are they kidding? What, are they afraid of six year olds reading Times Magazine and learning all the swear words? Or afraid that someone will read the article and be offended if they saw words like that? Well, what the hell is the point if it's fucking obvious what those words are then? If someone said 'fuck', just print the god damn word! Arg! When will this nonsense all end?? When will anything ever end?!